My Janitor
by Pirate Hatter
Summary: JD discovers he has feelings for a certain Janitor and doesn't know how to deal with it. Slash, JDJanitor, JanitorJD whatever you want to call it
1. Revelation

_At Sacred Heart, things tend to get a little dull. Mostly it's routine but sometimes work gets to be second-nature._

_Every morning is the same thing: Dr. Kelso greets me in his own, vaguely disturbing way:_

"Ah, Dr. Dorian. Thank goodness you're here because I didn't find anyone but Ted that I can blame for every damn thing that's gone wrong in both my marriage and my life. Get to work!" Kelso yelled and stormed off. Ted followed behind like the bitch he is.

"Save yourself," He whispered as he scurried after Kelso.

_Either Dr. Cox (or Coxarella as I call him to have a good laugh) gives me some charts or tells me to treat a patient right away:_

"Newbie, I need you to go to room 465 and see what's wrong with Mrs. Monroe," Dr. Cox handed him a chart. JD nodded but continued to move on with his internal monologue.

_Then I see Elliot, she says Hi and then complains about the way she looks:_

"Morning, JD. God, I look like a total train wreck today. I had NO time to fix my hair so here I am, looking frumpy and sleep-deprived," Elliot continued to babble, oblivious to the fact that JD took the safest route out of the conversation: ducking into the next hallway.

_And of course, I always see the Janitor when I least expect him._

JD slammed into the Janitor, who was leaning on his mop and staring off into space while chewing on his bottom lip.

"Why do you do that?" The Janitor muttered in his casual monotone that nearly made JD wet his pants.

_Still dry…_

"What are you talking about?" JD asked; his voice crackling a bit with fear. It was only 9:30 and he hadn't had his coffee yet, in effect, he was deathly afraid of anyone who had motive to kill him.

"Blonde doctor gives you all the time in the world. She talks with you, laughs with you, and even sleeps with you sometimes, but you always bail out when she starts pouring out her heart and soul. Why do you do that?" The Janitor leered down at JD. Sure, there wasn't much of a height difference between them but when Janitor did this-

_I feel like a smurf…_

"Okay, first of all, her name is Elliot. Secondly, you can't judge me! We went through so much and we are just getting over that awkward phase and I'm not ready to spend a lot of time with her yet! Leave me alone, Jumpsuit!" JD squeaked indignantly and tried to run into the elevator which had conveniently 'binged' open.

_There must be some sort of timer on that thing…_

"Hold it, Scooter. Heh, it's funny. I can call you Scooter again because you actually _have_ a scooter," Janitor grabbed the back of JD's scrubs and pulled him back into the conversation.

_Do NOT mock Sasha… poor girl's shy already._

"I'm there for you, baby," JD whispered to himself with a glazed expression.

"What?"

"Nothing!" JD's hand immediately went to protect his face. The Janitor's grip on the back of his scrubs had become vice-like.

"You said 'I'm there for you, baby.' Scooter, I will never be more than your friend, you've got to understand that,"

_God, his grip is going to give me such a weird feeling for the rest of the day. He has really strong hands… really big ones, too. I wonder… no wait; I already _know_ how big he is. Right… I wonder if he really is married or if he just makes that up to psych me out._

"In case you were wondering, I'm not married and I have no kids," The Janitor randomly cleared up for JD.

_Who else is psychic?!_

"Troy is most of the time but he's a little slow on the up take," He shrugged casually.

"Stop doing that!" JD nearly shrieked in that pre-pubescent voice Dr. Cox always rode him for.

_Why is that such a popular phrase? 'He's riding me'… God, it makes it seem like we're sleeping together! Ew!_

"It's not so bad, Scooter. You can come out of the closet any damn time you feel like it," The Janitor finally set JD down and gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

_I wish you'd stop touching me._

"Fair enough. But that will happen just as soon as you come out of the closet,"

"I'm not gay and for the love of GOD stop reading my mind!" JD shook with anger as he often did during his few mental break downs.

The Janitor took the opportunity of solitude to push JD into the custodial closet and lock the door from the inside. JD was pressed up against the corner like a trapped little rabbit.

"I'm not reading your mind, Scooter. I just know you so well that I know exactly what you're thinking. Troy can't read minds, by the way," The Janitor leaned against the door and chewed on a toothpick. That toothpick happened to be a Q-tip.

_Bastard…_

"That's not very nice, Newbie," The Janitor gave an exaggerated pouty look.

"Wait, only Dr. Cox calls me Newbie. You call me Scooter," JD looked for a way out of this hell-in-a-closet but saw no sign of escape.

"Yeah…" The Janitor flashed a quick smirk/grimace and continued to stare-down the young doctor.

"Why are we in a closet?" JD asked the question that was actually furthest from his mind at the moment.

"Well, Newbie, there's a lot of reasons. One: I could be setting you up for a classic joke that I will laugh at again and again when I tell it to my squirrel army. Two: I could be trying to make you die from anxiety. Or three: I could be trying to get you alone so I could make sweet love to you with your stethoscope still on. Your choice, bucko,"

_The Janitor then gave the most stunning Dr. Cox 'make a choice, Newbie' pose I had ever seen in my life. God, he was weird._

"Honestly… I want it to be the first one," JD shrunk back into his corner.

"The funny thing is," The Janitor began taking off his shirt, "It's all three,"

The Janitor leaned in for a powerful kiss, driven purely by lust for the young doctor. JD was shocked, to say the least; especially when he became hard by the Janitor's forcefulness. He let out a tiny moan that decided to be a squeak at the last moment.

"Very manly of you, Scooter," The Janitor snickered and clamped his mouth down on JD's throat.

"Sh-shut up," JD said with an uneasy voice. The Janitor responded by grabbing JD's cock through his scrubs.

"You're my bitch, Scooter. Understand?" The Janitor licked JD's neck and nipped at his ear. JD let lose a very loud moan.

--

"Something the matter, Newbie?" Dr. Cox asked with fake interest. JD snapped out of his daydream with a great deal of shock and personal disgust.

"Banana Hammock!" JD nearly yelled and ran to the nearest bathroom, trying his hardest not to make his hard-on _too_ noticeable.

_Oh dear sweet heavenly cheesecake! I have a crush on the Janitor?!_


	2. Fear

_It's amazing when you open up a new fear. The whole world seems a lot scarier and real. Like Elliot and her new found fear of germs:_

"I scrubbed up three times and I'm totally germ free!" Elliot raised up her hands to show off. The Todd came by and slapped her some skin.

"High five for the ladies!" The Todd did his 'chk-chk BOOM!' and left. Elliot sighed and ran off to the bathrooms once more.

_..Or Turk with his fear of closure with Carla._

"Never leave my side, okay baby?" Turk walked down the halls of Sacred Heart with Carla clutched to his side like a security blanket.

_For me, it's the fact that I found out that not only am I apparently bi-sexual, I have a crush on the man who makes my life a living hell every single day. No, it's not Dr. Kelso or Dr. Cox._

JD looked around the hallway and saw the Janitor staring off into space, muttering to himself.

_It's him. He's really sexy when he's all lost in his thoughts… oh shut up! Just because I'm half-gay does not mean I like having these thoughts! I bet he's great in the sack- GAH!_

"Scooter, what's up with you? You've been uncomfortable and distant and it's not my fault. So here's what I'm going to do-" Real world Janitor was cut off by homoerotic Janitor.

"_I'm going to pound into your ass so hard that you'll be walking bow-legged for weeks," The Janitor was suddenly in only pants and holding a pair of hand-cuffs. He hoisted JD over his shoulder and threw him down on the nearest empty bed._

JD giggled at his fantasy.

"Oh so just because I'm a dirty janitor, you think you don't have to even listen to me?!" Unfortunately, JD was still in his sex dream.

"You **are** a dirty janitor…" JD murmured.

"What the hell?" The Janitor recoiled at the first signs of a man getting a hard-on: The glazed expression, the slight blushing in the ears, the naughty talk, and the extremely disturbing bulge in his pants.

"Banana Hammock!" JD screamed and ran into a closet. The Janitor was close behind and slipped a broom between the handle of the closet and the wall. The victory was short lived when he heard moaning and cursing from the soul participant in the closet.

"Oh Scooter, **why**? I just cleaned up that closet!" The Janitor slammed the door and instead of hearing the expected squeak, he heard an even louder moan and a 'again! Oh god, do it again!'

The Janitor did not comply. Instead, he found the perfect revenge. First, he took the broom out from the door handle.

"Dr… Scarymanwithaperm, can you watch this closet for a minute? I have to get something from my cart and I left it upstairs," The Janitor slapped him on the shoulder and went off in no real direction. Dr. Cox stood there, wondering why he was doing this in the first place.

He then heard an extremely loud moan which was followed seconds later by an after-glow looking Newbie, stumbling out of the closet.

_Oh shit_

"Wow, Malinda. I gotta say, bravo for being so damn professional that you gave into your damn hormones at work and went and fingered yourself in the closet. Now who were you fantasizing about this time, hmm? Was it Brad Pitt? Or maybe Johnny Depp? Or how about that cute guy you saw at the mall, who had the common courtesy to wave at the crazy girl that was staring at him and doesn't give a rat's ass if you live or die? Or, we have our final contestant and this one's just for laughs, was it that Janitor that made you so damn wet that you had to diddle yourself right here in this hospital? Huh, was it?"

"What?! The Janitor? Ha, _no_. Jeez Dr. Cox. Give me some credit, okay?" JD laughed nervously and cleared his throat.

_Well at least the good news is that since I just did _that_, I won't be able to get another hard-on for at least ten minutes. That gives me enough time to run off to my patients and avoid the Janitor for the rest of the day!_

The Janitor walked up behind Dr. Cox, mid-rant. JD saw him and gulped. The Janitor waved and smirked, also while mouthing the words 'I'm going to remember this, Scooter.'

_Double shit! How did I get so good at reading lips? Janitor's lips… soft, pink lips… gah, I need help._

"Are ya with me, Mary-Sue?" Dr. Cox quipped at JD.

"Dr. Cox, please don't call me Mary-Sue. It's a term online for a character that is perfect in every way and everyone is attracted to her,"

"Okay, one: Newbie, you're a nerd. Two: did I just hear you admit you're a girl?"

"No it's just Mary-Sue is the term for a girl and Gary-Stu is the term for a guy," JD smiled innocently while concentrating on not making eye-contact with the Janitor.

"Well, Jenna, Gary-Stu is just a god-awful name. Get to work; you're going to be late for pre-rounds," Dr. Cox slammed the chart into JD's chest and stormed off in that patented 'Dr. Cox is pissed' way.

JD was slammed into the wall and collapsed on the floor.

"I don't want to do pre-rounds…" JD sighed and groaned at the same time. The Janitor stepped up to the clump of JD on the floor and smirked.

"I wouldn't want to work, either, after the big date you had. What the hell's the matter with you?" The Janitor pulled JD up by the neck of his scrubs.

"Are you really asking or are you just trying to make me second-guess myself?"

"Eh, a little from column A, a little from column B. But seriously, what the hell turned you on so much that you had to pleasure yourself in one of my favourite closets?!"

_Only you, baby. Gah, I need to shut up._

"You wouldn't understand," JD sighed and opened up his chart to see what his first patient would be like. The Janitor grabbed the top of the chart and thrust it downwards so JD was forced to look at him.

"Oh, so just because I'm a janitor means that I have no feelings or thoughts and can't relate to another human being, is that right?" The Janitor scowled at the young doctor.

"Please stop yelling at me…" JD asked half-heartedly.

"No I will NOT stop yelling at you until I'm good and ready! … Damn I lost it." The Janitor turned for his classy exit as always. JD took special time to notice the Janitor's caboose. Ted's musical group waltzed up and started rapping "Baby Got Back".

"Done with the movie themes?" JD sighed.

"Yeah. Now we're doing popular songs of today," Ted answered in the voice that always made JD think he had something sticky in the back of his throat.

"Very… impressive, Ted. What else do you know?"

The group briefly harmonized and started singing "Living La Vida Loca".

"Ted, that song was popular back in the mid-nineties,"

"But everyone knows that song. That's what I meant by 'popular'," The group quickly moved on down the hall, continuing their song for all the doctors, interns, and patients to bop along with.

"They have weird timing…" JD thought out loud while briefly reminiscing about how they started singing JD's favourite rap song as the Janitor exited, "I see them dancin'. The hell with romancin'…" JD hummed as he walked to pre-rounds.

--

"Okay, gang. Who's here today? Everyone, good. Okay so I want Keith to start an IV drip on Mr. Jackman-"

"Jackman?" Dr. Cox asked as he loomed behind JD.

"Sorry, Dr. Cox. I know how much you would like to kill Hugh Jackman but this guy's name is _Roy_ Jackman. Move along," JD flicked his wrist to the side to dismiss his superior.

"Dammit," Dr. Cox grumbled and went over to the pastry cart to grab a strawberry muffin.

JD assigned the rest of his interns to different patients and began to work on his own patient.

"Hi, Mrs. Monroe. I'm Dr. Dorian and I'm going to help you through this magical time. Okay, so all your tests have come back and it looks like you've got a hernia,"

"Oh really?" Mrs. Monroe asked sarcastically and pulled up her hospital gown to show a very large and purple protuberance.

"Yikes… so we're going to prep you for surgery to get that thing poked right on back in," JD smiled and walked out of her room as quickly as possible.


	3. A Promise

_My day was actually pretty normal, even with the disturbing fact that I had a huge man-crush on the Janitor. What the hell is his name, anyway?_

_I had to spend my lunch break sitting alone. Carla and Turk were out to lunch (Carla had been craving Italian for about two hours), Elliot was going on some weird diet again, and even Doug had a lunch appointment with Ted._

_So here I was, eating my egg salad sandwich alone. It was my first egg salad sandwich in about three or four years, and I couldn't remember why. But as soon as I saw the smirk on the Janitor's and Troy's face, I remembered what they almost did to me last time._

"Oh **GOD**!" JD spat out the suddenly white hot spicy sandwich bite onto his tray and guzzled down his Vitamin Water. He vaguely heard the sound of a knuckle-punch and amused laughter. The Janitor waltzed over, looking very smug at sat down across from JD, who was still chugging the water.

"Like egg salad sandwiches?" JD snorted up half his drink.

"What?"

"I said 'Like egg salad sandwiches?'. What's the matter with you? Do you have corn in your ears?" The Janitor stretched out JD's ear and looked inside for search of said corn. JD batted his hand away.

"No, I do NOT have corn in my ears. Leave me alone, already,"

_What the heck am I saying?! Closer! Closer! More contact! More attention!_

"Yeah I thought about it, and I'm going to ignore that and follow you around all day," The Janitor smirked because he thought it would annoy JD.

_JD and the Janitor start dancing in a room filled with red balloons. Some random German song is playing in the background as they dance and jump together like little spastic girls._

"Oh… crap," JD forced himself to swallow the grin bubbling up inside of him.

"Yeah, well… those are the breaks. How long until you get paged?" The Janitor raised himself over the table to get a look at JD's pager.

"I don't know! I only get paged when there's an emergency," JD took a bite of his apple and tried his best to look subtly sexy. Unfortunately for JD, subtle wasn't his thing.

"What the hell is wrong with you today? You look like you're either having a seizure or … an orgasm? Wait a minute… you have a crush on someone!" The Janitor looked around the cafeteria suspiciously, "Is she here?"

_Holy shit! Man down! Abort! Abort!_

"I have to go…" JD got up and nearly sprinted out the cafeteria door.

"Oh yeah, she's totally here," The Janitor stole a bite from JD's forgotten egg salad sandwich. "Holy crap!" He spat out the spicy sandwich, "We are horrible people,"

--

"How are you feeling, Mrs. Monroe? That surgery was quite something, let me tell you," JD chuckled nervously.

"You were there?"

"No… but my friend was. Anyway, there are no complications and you should be ready to leave by this time tomorrow. Have a good one," JD gave her a wink and headed back out to the nurse's station.

The Janitor was leaning against the wall, flipping his screwdriver in the air.

"Do you wink at all your patients?"

_Sweet burritos in heaven!_

"Um no… just trying it out… why?" JD was more nervous than Bambi in an open field.

_Jeez, that's a little insensitive. Poor Bambi… but I suppose it's true. Hmm._

"No reason. I guess that's normal for a lonely guy who hasn't gotten any in months. I wouldn't know because I get sex all the time,"

"Prostitutes don't count, big guy," JD sneered. The Janitor tensed up in anger and cracked his knuckles, "Oh come on that was so mild!" JD whimpered.

JD didn't have time to plead for mercy or even tell Turk that he would get all of his stuff when the Janitor kills him.

_Killed by the man I have an over powering crush for. Oh the irony._

"Ya know," JD started as the Janitor dragged him up the stairs that led to the roof of Sacred Heart, "You don't have to kill me. Really! I know, it's crazy talk but-"

"Now's the time you stop talking," The Janitor didn't even look at JD. They reached the roof of the hospital, the Janitor forcing JD to walk to the ledge.

"You're really scaring me, Lurch. I'm not sure if you're kidding anymore," JD started to sweat as the Janitor began to let him dangle over the edge of the hospital's roof, "Please! I'll do anything you want! I swear! Anything!" JD shrieked when the Janitor closed his palms around JD's throat.

"Anything?" He growled.

"Just name it!" JD choked out. His gasps became desperate for air and he wasn't sure if he would die from suffocation or from the five story fall to the pavement.

"Be my personal servant for a month," The Janitor stated simply. JD nodded frantically, literally choosing life over death. Suddenly, the Janitor's grasp brought him from knocking on death's door to touching the solid roof of the hospital.

JD collapsed on the ground, wheezing for a breath of sweet air. The Janitor cleaned off the imaginary dirt from his hands.

"Be at my house at 4:53 in the morning, tomorrow. Otherwise, I'm coming after you," The Janitor lightly kicked JD in the stomach and made a dramatic exit from the roof. JD continued to breath heavily, still lying on the ground.

"I love you," He muttered and rested his head on the floor, "But I'm not sure why,"


	4. Labor of Love

_Having no prior knowledge to where the Janitor actually lived, I had to ask his friends and hope they were telling the truth._

_At exactly 4:53 in the morning, I knocked on his door, wondering what hell he would put me through first._

The Janitor opened the door looking very much like he just rolled out of bed. His shirt clung to one shoulder, the rest drooping off hopelessly. His hair was even messier than usually and he had a peaceful-sleep look in his eyes. JD stared at him for a moment, unsure of what to do. The Janitor yawned widely and rubbed the sleep out of one eye.

"Mornin'," He grunted and let JD in. JD nodded and looked around. It looked very similar to the house the Janitor tricked him into robbing.

"Nice place," JD muttered. The Janitor didn't hear him; he had already padded into the kitchen to make coffee.

"You want coffee?" The Janitor looked to JD for an answer.

_JD was sipping coffee from a green mug as the Janitor read the paper._

"_Thanks for the coffee, Janitor," JD smiled thankfully. The Janitor nodded and smirked. Suddenly, JD turned into a squirrel._

"_Huntin' time, little buddy," The Janitor growled while taking out a net. JDSqurriel squeaked and ran off into the house, dodging the Janitor in a very Tom and Jerry manner._

"No thanks," JD sat down at the kitchen table, staring awkwardly at the Janitor's back. He sat down at the table with coffee in hand, still rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"Your first task of the day will be taking stock of my squirrel army. Make sure everyone's there. There was a break in at a house a couple blocks down and I want to be sure no one gets stolen," The Janitor took a sip of his coffee thoughtfully. JD just stared at him like he was crazy (in JD's defense, the Janitor _was_ kind of crazy); "There's roughly 200 of them. Here's a list of their names and a picture of them," He handed JD a clipboard.

"200 taxidermied squirrels?" JD looked at him with a cocked eyebrow. The Janitor nodded soundly as toast popped out of the toaster. He got up from his chair and got the two slices and put them both on a plate.

"Butter or cream cheese?" He asked without looking at the young doctor.

"Cow fudge!" JD chirped happily. He immediately clamped his hands over his mouth in embarrassment at the Janitor shot him a questioning look. "I like to play with words…" He mumbled as a fierce blush spread across his face.

"Okay… so I'm guessing that's cream cheese?" He started to spread the cream cheese on one of the slices, regardless of JD's answer.

JD took the toast, chewing noisily on it and adverting his eyes from the older and much taller man.

"Where do you keep your squirrel army?" _That sounds like some weird innuendo._

"In my garage. Here, follow me," He waved his hand in a 'come' commandment and JD obediently followed.

"You're not going to send in a family of raccoons on me, are you?" JD asked as he stuck he head around the larger man.

"…Dammit. Okay just count the squirrels. I'll be busy sleeping on my couch," He yawned and walked away from JD, who just stood there, gawking at the squirrels.

"They stare into my soul…" He said, wide-eyed in fear.

--

About an hour later, the Janitor came into the garage to check on JD's progress. He found the young doctor passed out in his chair, drooling slightly.

He kicked the chair and JD jerked up and muttered "What?" but fell back into place. The Janitor sighed and took the clipboard from his hands and saw that all squirrels were accounted for.

"Alright, wake up Scooter," He nudged the chair again. This time, JD actually woke up.

"The squirrels is comin' fer me…" He muttered as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"Damn right they are. Anyway, your next task is to do my laundry," He held up a large basket full of clothes. JD's went extremely wide as he stared at the multiple janitor's uniforms and other various clothes, including what looked like a squirrel suit.

"Is that a… squirrel suit?" JD poked the side of the basket and stared up at the Janitor.

"That's for later. Laundry. Now," He pushed the basket into JD's arms and went to leave.

"Where's your laundry room?" JD called after him right before he was out of earshot.

"I don't have one. You have to go the Laundra-Mat a couple blocks away. Take my van but I expect it back in the exact same condition," He tossed JD the keys.

--

"I can't believe I have to do this guy's laundry," JD grumbled as he threw the clothes into a machine. He inserted the quarters and the machine started to wash the load. JD leaned against the rumbling machine, grumbling and looking like he would kill the next guy who came in.

The next man who came in just happened to be Dr. Cox.

"Holy shit. What are you doing here, Newbie?!" Dr. Cox slammed his basket down and glared angrily at the young attending doctor.

"I um… (Gulp) I'm doing laundry…" Dr. Cox looked into what remained in JD's basket and saw a janitor's uniform. He grinned up at JD wickedly.

"You're not seriously doing the Janitor's laundry are you? What, did you spend the night at his house and you offered to do his laundry to make up for that virginal sex you gave him last night?"

"No, he was going to drop me off the roof of the hospital and I promised to be his… uh, personal servant for a month…" JD suddenly became very self-conscious and scuffed his toe on the ground. Dr. Cox just rolled his eyes and began to load his laundry into a washing machine on the other side of the Laundra-Mat. JD sighed and hit his head against the rocking machine.

In fifteen minute's time, JD found himself reading the washer instructions to see what the hell could have gone wrong.

"I don't get it?! Was it the detergent or something??" He questioned loudly, holding up a pair of the Janitor's boxers. Dr. Cox heard Newbie screaming and waltzed over like the egotistical ass he was.

"Tsk, tsk Newbie. Your boyfriend won't be happy with this at all," He said. Arrogance flowed out of his voice, dripping off every word he spoke.

"What did I do wrong?!" JD asked his mentor. Dr. Cox kept smiling that god-awful smile of his.

"Well, Cynthia, it looks like a red sock wormed its way into the whites," He laughed and picked up the culprit sock. JD glared at that sock.

_It's a sock from Hades!! A Satan Sock!_

"You're friends with the Janitor, right Dr. Cox?" JD looked at his mentor hopefully. He nodded slowly. "Do you think he'll be mad?"

There was an intense silence, a deep sigh, and then, "Newbie, would _**I**_ be mad if you turned my clothes into a marshmallow peep mess?" JD stared at him and slowly nodded.

Tears began to fill the young doctor's eyes. He looked in his hands to see the bright pink boxers that had once been white with little mops on it (_How obsessed is this guy with his job?!_).

"He's going to hate me," JD mumbled to the boxers more than anyone else, certainly not nosey Dr. Cox. The doctor cocked an eyebrow at his protégé, wondering why he would be this disappointed.

"Newbie… yeah, he's going to hate you but he'll get over it. It's really not that big a deal. You can get all this out with bleach," Dr. Cox held up a once-alabaster wife-beater. JD looked at him with those doe-like eyes, on the brink of tears.

"The Janitor met me on my first day as an intern. I made a comment about how there was probably a penny stuck in the door he was fixing, he thought _**I**_ stuck the penny in there, and he has hated me ever since. The man can hold a grudge like no body's BUSINESS!" JD screamed.

"Okay Newbie. Get a hold of yourself, jeez. What would you do if you messed up something I told you to do?"

JD sniffled and just looked at him cluelessly.

"You would come tell me about it and then we would both fix it. The Janitor is somewhat of my friend and I know him pretty well. It'll be the same deal. Now go back there and finish being the bitch he made you," Dr. Cox patted him on the shoulder and went back to his own laundry. JD wiped the tears out of his eyes and reluctantly packed up the Janitor's laundry.

The drive back to the Janitor's home was uncomfortable enough. JD couldn't keep him out of his head, and more importantly, his anger. The only good thing about all this was he saw the Janitor's boxers.

_I'm such a gay perv… That's kind of scary, actually._

He entered the house to find it cold and dark, like no one was there.

"Janitor? Are you home?" He called out as he struggled to carry the large basket of laundry.

_Of course he's here, I had the van. Although, he could have gone for a walk or something._

JD looked around the one-story home and guessed which way his room would be. He followed along the corridor until he came to a door on his left. It had a picture of what looked to be a little cartoon Janitor in a castle. Underneath the drawing, it said in large crayon letters "King of the Castle". JD grinned at the thought of the Janitor, hard at work, drawing and coloring this picture.

He opened the door without a second thought, still half-chuckling to himself at the cuteness of the picture. Inside the room, there was a half-clothed Janitor, about to put on his shirt. JD stood stock still, blushing in embarrassment. He dropped the basket full of clothes and covered his eyes, as if he accidentally walked into the girls' locker room at school.

"OhmygodI'msosorryIdidn'tmeantowalkinlikethatpleasedon'tkillme!!" He blurted out. The Janitor just stared at him.

"What now?"

"Nothingnevermindhere'syourclothesI'msosorrybye," JD kicked the basket toward the Janitor and burst out of the room as fast as his chicken-legs could carry him. He dove for cover onto the Janitor's couch and hid in the cushions. There was a tense silence.

Then, he heard it:

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY CLOTHES?!"

--

_I blacked out after I heard that scream. When I came to, I was standing on the Janitor's lawn in only his pink boxers, holding a cardboard sign. It said "Miss America or Bust," on it, in swirly pink letters, too. I think I also had a pink hairclip in my hair._

_A lot of people walked past me, obviously staring and pointing fingers. How rude. I got a few cat calls in the four hours I was standing out there. Some guys actually tried to get my number. I gave them "my" pager number, which was actually Dr. Cox's. It felt good._

"How's it going out here?" The Janitor asked as he walked up to JD. He was finally dressed in his janitor's uniform, hair finally brushed.

"Not too bad. People have started tipping me by sticking ones into the waistband," JD looked down at his hip, which was stuffed with numerous one-dollar bills. The Janitor grabbed all those ones and counted them out.

"You've gotten over fifty dollars… and some guy's jockstrap," The Janitor held up said jockstrap, disgusted.

"Yeah I would have taken that out but seeing as you kind of glued my hands to the cardboard…" JD started shaking the cardboard, trying to free himself. The Janitor started to chuckle.

"Yeah that never gets old," He sighed contently and looked over the young doctor. JD shifted his weight from foot to foot, terribly uncomfortable.

"How much longer do I have to stand out here?"

"About…" He checked his watch, "Another hour. Don't worry, though. I'm here to keep you company," He unfolded a lawn chair JD didn't notice he was carrying.

…_Yay._

"…So… why mops?" JD looked down at the boxers he was sporting. The pink had almost completely hidden the tiny mop designs that decorated the pair.

"Because I'm a _janitor_? Jeez, you're dense,"

"Well, I thought that but really… I mean, I'm a doctor but I don't buy pairs of boxers that have little stethoscopes all over them,"

"Well, sorry I'm not as 'sophisticated' as you doctors!" The Janitor even did little air quotes to complete his point. JD just rolled his eyes at the lunacy of it all. He didn't speak for a minute, mildly pissed off at this man for humiliating him like this. Then, a thought hit him.

_It's not like my legs are glued to the grass or anything. I can just run away… in boxers… okay, at best, I can run into his house and dodge him until he finally gets me. Eh, worth a shot._

JD turned around slowly to face the front door which was about twenty feet away. The Janitor just stared at him, his curiosity aroused. Suddenly, JD sprinted for the door, screaming like a banshee. The Janitor chased after him immediately.

The doctor sped inside the home, running through the living room and then the kitchen. Looking behind him, he saw the Janitor was running behind him, barley out of breath.

_Dammit, I forgot he used to run track!_

JD turned a corner sharply, and ducked into the Janitor's bedroom. He shoved it closed with his butt and hid in the closet, panting. He heard a painful crash and winced as the Janitor screamed a string of curse words. The door opened calmly with a faint 'click'; JD held his breath. There was a painful silence.

"I know you're here, little squirrel," The Janitor cooed menacingly, "You should know that I have a sixth sense for telling when little squirrels are afraid,"

JD's face went red and he silently prayed to whatever god was available at the time to not let the Janitor find him. Unfortunately, the gods don't answer your prayers if you haven't nailed down which one you worship. That being said, the Janitor opened his closet door and grinned like a crocodile at the cowering doctor.

"Gotchya,"


	5. Cofession

"Please don't hurt me!!" JD bawled, his hands covering his head. The Janitor just grinned evilly at him.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Scooter. In fact, what you did was brave so instead of beating you into a pulp, I'm going to end your servitude with me. Think of it as a prize or something," He helped up the smaller man and patted the dust off him.

"R-really?" JD couldn't believe what was happened.

"Really, really. Now go get dressed and go home. It's your day off, right? Oh, hold on," The Janitor ripped the cardboard sign from his hands.

"Owies!!" JD screamed and shook his hands to rid them of the searing pain.

"There. Now leave the premises," The Janitor ushered him out his door.

"But I don't know where you put my clothes!"

"In the garage… with my squirrel army," He gave one last smirk and closed his door.

"…Well crap,"

--

"Hey, man. How was your day with the psycho janitor?" Turk asked from the couch as JD walked in the front door.

"Not that bad, actually. He made me count his squirrel army-"

"Squirrel Army?" Turk asked as he cocked an eyebrow.

"Don't worry, they were dead. After that, he made me do his laundry, which I accidentally turned pink. Because of that, he made me stand outside in his now pink boxers and hold a sign that said 'Miss America or Bust'," JD grabbed a beer from the fridge and plopped down next to Turk.

"Is that a hair clip?" Turk pulled out a sparkly pink hair clip from JD's hair. He laughed.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that," JD took a sip of his beer, and sighed heavily.

"Something wrong, Vanilla Bear? Whatever it is, you can tell me about it,"

_I wish I could, Chocolate Bear…_

"Nah, dude. I'm good up in this piece," JD stuck his tongue out and screwed up his face to look like a guy in the 'Wazzup?!' beer commercials.

"Be whiter, man," Turk shook his head as he got off the couch to turn on the new GameCube they bought. He tossed a controller to JD.

_As I got my ass handed to me during Super Smash Brothers, I wished that I really could tell Turk anything. He's slightly homophobic and Carla is his wife now, so whatever I tell him gets transferred to Carla. Then it goes to Elliot and then the whole Hospital knows and I can't let that happen._

After hours of being beaten by Turk's Jiggypuff (Sad, I know), JD finally decided to call it a night and head off to bed, where he had many reoccurring dreams of his favourite janitor.

--

Dr. John Dorian walked the halls of Scared Heart in a fog. His day hadn't started out very well, and it seemed to only get worse.

His alarm clock had gone off late, in effect, he was rushing through his morning routine. As he struggled to fit his scrubs' top over his now worse-than-ever bed head, he tripped over Rowdy and probably cracked a rib.

Sasha had been vandalized with spray paint that would take days to clean off. Sighing remorsefully, he zipped over to the mini mart he loved so much only to find it was being closed down for good.

"Oh **come on**!!" He had screamed, clenching his fists.

Once he arrived at Scared Heart, he immediately had a bucket full of oatmeal thrown at him by Troy, the lunch guy. His friends saw him and all started laughing at how ridiculous he looked and how oddly wonderful he smelled.

So here he was, covered in oatmeal, wandering off to the locker room to shower off. Tears threatened to escape his eyes but shook it off and continued his journey.

Once inside the locker room, he was greeted by a rat-tail from the Todd.

"Oatmeal five!" He said and held up his hand. JD just stared at him and walked off to the showers. He heard a disappointed whimper and the click of the door being closed.

JD realized he was finally alone and started crying into his hands in a fetal position on the floor.

_Why me?!_

He didn't hear the 'creak' of the door and the soft padding of footsteps grow closer, nor did he feel the looming presence of the man that stood before him.

"Bad day, Scooter?" The Janitor said in his usual drawl. JD looked up at him with red rimmed and swollen eyes, silently pleading for mercy. That stopped him from making any other snarky comments he could have come up with. He just gaped at the oatmeal covered doctor, his heart flooding with guilt.

"Why did you do this to me?" JD choked between wracking sobs. "How could you?!" He stood up and pounded the Janitor's chest, barely coaxing a whimper from the larger man. He continued to sob into the man's chest, clinging onto his shirt with an iron grip, coating him with oatmeal.

"…Scooter…" The Janitor barely whispered, not knowing what to do. He never meant to hurt the younger man, only mess with him. Maybe telling his friends to reset his alarm clock, move the stuffed dog in a particular place, vandalize his scooter, and tell Troy to splash him with oatmeal was a bit much… but it was all in fun, right? That's all he meant by it…

"I have a name, dammit!" JD screamed at him with angry, tear soaked eyes. "It's John Dorian!" He hiccupped and bawled into his chest again, screaming indecipherable words.

"You've always tortured me," JD continued after a while, "You've always made my life hell…" He listened to the rhythmic beating of the Janitor's heart. "I didn't care so much until now… now, it's worse," He sniffled and choked back tears.

"Worse? How?"

"I… love you," He mumbled into the now oatmeal covered fabric of the Janitor's uniform. "I never saw another man this way before but there you are, taunting me… Heh, Danni was right. I always want what I can't have,"

"JD, I-" The Janitor was cut off by the meeting of his and JD's soft and very full lips. JD was standing on his tip toes to reach up to the much larger man and his rams were clinging fiercely to his shoulders; almost digging into his shoulders, in fact, but that made him aware of the fact that this was actually happening and not some bizarre dream.

JD's eyes were closed peacefully, from what the Janitor's vision could tell. He hadn't expected the kiss, of course, and his eyes were wide open and crossed to see the man in front of him. He could pull away of course, being the stronger of the two but he didn't. Maybe it was because of the sudden shock and adrenaline coursing through him or maybe it was that he didn't _want_ to pull away.

The kiss was innocent but demanding. JD demanded his attention and love, just like he wanted of everyone else. This time, he was more desperate for it. He wanted what he knew he couldn't have but that made the Janitor like the forbidden fruit, waiting to be claimed as his.

Oh god, did JD want the Janitor to be his. It drove him insane, enough to deepen the kiss suddenly, coaxing a squeak from the larger participant.

The kiss ended, but too soon for JD. They were both out of breath, though the Janitor did not respond. JD clung onto him, resting his head against the Janitor's heaving chest.

"It's painful…" JD whispered, not looking at the object of his affections. "I want you so bad it drives me crazy. Crazier than I've ever been, even with Elliot. But you're going to push me away, aren't you… jist like everyone else," He started to whimper as tears came again. Suddenly, his chin was pulled up to look at the Janitor.

He didn't say anything, just wiped away his tears and a bit of the oatmeal. JD sniffled pathetically. The Janitor then pulled him into a soft, warm kiss, unexpectedly enough. JD melted into the kiss, happier than ever before. Happy that he was with the one man that ever drove him crazy with desire; happy that he had willingly pulled him into that kiss. It made JD light headed and a bit dizzy but kept his ground and met the kiss fiercely.

The Janitor on the other hand, had no idea why he was doing this. Oh sure, he had kissed a man once before and it wasn't that different than a woman but JD was something else entirely. He felt like he could protect him, like he could be his guarded treasure. He could be the one he punches a man in the jaw for, the one he thinks of before going to bed.

All these thoughts hit him at the same time, like a rolling montage in his head. It made him smile inwardly, thinking of the absurdity that _Scooter_ of all people could make him react like this. He liked it.

The kiss ended with smaller kisses that faded into nothing. They stood there, foreheads pressed together, both pairs of eyes half-closed in bliss.

"Maybe I could give us a shot…" The Janitor whispered as he kissed JD on his forehead. JD giggled and kissed the tip of his nose.

"Yay for me," He mumbled with nothing but pure joy. He finally had his Janitor.

* * *

**Pirate Hatter: Marg, I hope you liked it! This is actually my first finished fanfic and after I get a little bit more work done on What is this Feeling, I may write a sequel to this (in response for the comment about 'really hot sex') We'll see what the future holds.**

**And of course, reviews will be much appriciated and cuddled with.**


End file.
